Lots of Sickness

I have to admit that the last few months I've been in the toilet, the dark abyss, lower than a snakes belly and just plain old sad. Besides grieving the death of my Dad, I've had other challenges with close relationships and physical and emotional pain . I picked up a bug last week and spent five days with cold symptoms that made me miserable in the night and lazy during the day. I spent almost all weekend at home trying to fight off my bug. Last week at church I sat in front of someone who snorted the whole meeting, so I decided to stay home and keep my snorting to myself. While everyone else was at church I had some quiet time to just think about my life. I found myself talking to my Dad a lot and asking him for help. I wonder if now that he's on the other side he can watch me and see what my struggles are. I was also asking for advice, hoping that somehow I could hear his answer. Sometimes I find myself wondering how a girl like me has gotten myself in such a mess. I never dreamed that my life would be like this when I got in my sixties. I just have that many more people to worry about and I'm tired. Spencer took one of his kids to emergency with a high fever and Candi took one of her sons to urgent care running a 104 degree fever too. This morning I got a call that Jenn has been up throwing up all night and now most of their kids have the stomach flu too. What the heck is going on around here with all the sickness? This week is going to be crazy. Mindi volunteered to be in charge of the school carnival, so she's having a breakdown trying to get all the games finished. I have a doctors appointment and a test on my hand to see if I need surgery in the future. And they are having Tyton's baptism on Saturday before they move to Montana, which is another part of my sadness. Letting my kids go is very hard for me. Spencer was my last baby so I've always felt like we were really close and he would be the one to stay close and help me in my old age. They don't want to live by family and have their heart set on Montana, so they will be leaving in a few weeks. I should know better, but I guess I just don't get it. So hopefully this week will get better. We can't all stay sick forever can we?