After Christmas Stupor

I've been in a stupor since Christmas trying to put up all my decorations and get my house back together. Thanks to Spencer who came over on Saturday and pulled all the boxes down and then after we filled them back up he climbed up on the ladder and put them up in my closet. The only thing I have left to do is my tree and I dread taking all the ornaments off. So I am waiting until I get in the mood which will hopefully happen soon. The weather has taken a nosedive and so I've been worrying about my animals and trying to keep everything warm and alive. Another winter blast is coming our way tomorrow, so I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to do it when it gets down below freezing at night. I hate the cold and the heat, maybe Hawaii is the place for me, but then I'm surrounded by shark infested water and that scares me too. For Christmas I only wanted two things, neither of which I got. They weren't expensive but just something I wanted to happen. My goal for the New Year is to live in moment and try to see the good in everyone I have a relationship with. I wish I could see others how the Savior does, then it would be so much easier to understand why they are the way they are. I also want to have more compassion on myself and change the things I don't like about myself and accept the things I can't change. it seems like year after year I'm working on the same goals but there never seems to be any change, I wonder if 2015 will be a better year for goal achievement. It was so nice to have all my kids and grandkids here for Christmas. Spencer and his family will be heading back to Boston next week and then when their house sells they will be moving to Montana. He thinks it is so much closer but to me it's still too far, but I know they are inspired to live where they do, so they don't need my blessing to live in Montana, that won't ever happen. Before we opened presents on Christmas morning I had each family stand in front of our tree for a photo. I also had some taken of the grand kids. They were a little bit tired and wild but I'm still glad we did it.

"Next Year Lets Start In November"

Mindi came in this morning and said, "we need to start in November so it isn't like this every year."  Yea, that would be nice but in November we are dealing with pomegranates and Thanksgiving. We had our Turley sisters party last night with all the cousins from my Mom's side there. We had delicious Mexican food, the Nativity with all the children, the reading of Turkey Trot and then the beloved "12 Days of Christmas" Greer style. Then this morning I was up early making my last batch of caramel popcorn to bag and take around with the jelly to our friends and neighbors. The girl that cleans my house is traveling down south for Christmas, so Spencer and Annie we so nice to come over this morning and help me get my house ready for Christmas dinner with the Greer clan tomorrow. Mindi has been out all afternoon doing her last minute shopping and after trying to take a nap, I gave up and decided to start my wrapping and putting the finishing touches on my house. I was having a little bit of a meltdown yesterday and telling my sister the only way out of all this Christmas chaos was to "go to the Light." I think she was worried that maybe I would do something drastic, but I was just venting to her about how bad I do when I'm stressed out. I wonder what it would be like to just go away for Christmas, and sit in a chair and drink hot chocolate for a few days. I guess we always want what we don't or can't have. This year has been another hard one for me in so many ways. Another knee surgery in May and then the usual ups and downs of living this mortal life. Sometimes it gets me down and I wonder how much longer I have to deal with the same things over and over again. I also know that there are many who suffer from far harder trials than I have and feel grateful for my own. Tomorrow will come and go and another Christmas will be in the books, I know I will finally get a good nights sleep and then start taking down all the decorations and get ready for the knew year. I hope everyone I love has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Done Shopping, Yeh!

I don't think I was home longer than an hour all day yesterday. I wanted to get my shopping done so I didn't have to fight the crowds this weekend, I don't do crowds very well. The kids got home early from school so we had babysitters for Trulie. Whew! After going to a few stores and Costco to pick up my pictures, we came home just long enough to feed the animals and get a drink of water. Tayler had a volleyball clinic in Tempe but Ethan was working late. We didn't want Jen to have to load up the twins and take them out in the cold, so Mindi took Tayler and I stayed and helped Jen with the kids. By then it was six in the evening and I was worn out. When Mindi got back, we took the older kids to try and find something for them for Christmas. It's getting harder and harder every year as the kids get older to find something they like. I don't do toys because I think that is Santa and their parents job, so I usually buy pajamas and a warm sweatshirt or coat. This year I also bought a lot of the clothes they wore for our family pictures. As we were walking through the store with Tayler and Kylie, I had flashbacks of shopping for clothes with my own two girls. How can two sisters be so different in personality and looks? Tayler is quite conservative in her dress and likes to wear her mom's clothes, while Kylie is a little more edgy like Candi was. When we left the store I was really tired and ready for bed. The little kids I know don't appreciate clothes, they would rather have something fun to play with, but this is what I do, it's very important to me that my grandchildren look nice when they are in public. I know time is coming when I will just have to do what my parents do and give money for them to shop for something they like.  I won't be here forever, but as long as I have the ability to walk through the stores, I will continue to buy for my grandchildren. That doesn't mean it still isn't hard, but so rewarding.

Finding Great Happiness on the Path

This Christmas Season has been so busy for me I feel like I'm spinning half the time. It seems like as I get older it takes me twice as long to do what I used to get done easily. I spent almost three weeks trying to get my house decorated and we only got our lights put up on our house on Saturday. I was wondering if this would be the first year that didn't happen at all. I've only been out to help Jen with the twins three times, but she is doing so well, I'm so impressed with her. I went out yesterday and sat in the car while she did some grocery shopping. We folded a couple of loads of laundry, fed the babies again and then it was time for me to go home. I understand the wisdom of having babies when you are young because it sure wears me out at sixty-one. In Relief Society on Sunday we had a really good lesson on President Monson's Conference talk this past October. He was talking about how the Savior walked the paths of disappointment, temptation and pain. Sometimes I go to church and wonder why I even bother but this lesson was really touching. Because we have chosen to come to earth and receive a body we are subject to all that comes with this mortal life. I don't think anyone gets out of here without experiencing all of these trials. It got me thinking of all my own disappointments, temptations and pain that I've been through. I have often suffered physical pain but I think the worst kind of pain is emotional, and when Kamber passed away it sent me somewhere dark I hadn't experienced before. At times I still get caught up in a place where I wonder if it's even worth going on. Then I think of my family and all my grandkids and I realize how blessed I really am. This weekend we were able to get together for pictures for the first time in a few years. Working with ten adults and eighteen children isn't easy, but I'm so happy with how they turned out. I need to get some printed for Christmas cards but Mindi and I both took our cameras and got some fun pictures of our posterity. In the talk President Monson says, "While we will find the path bitter sorrow, we can also find great happiness." I'm so thankful that sometimes I do have glimpses of great happiness as I walk this path called LIFE.

Am I Too Old For A Calling Yet?

This month is going by so fast I can't believe it's two weeks from Christmas Eve. I spent most of yesterday working on the Relief Society Christmas Dinner. We decorated from ten until noon and then had to be back to the church by 6:15 p.m.. Mindi and a couple of her kids have been sick this week, so I was on my own making four batches of funeral potatoes. It took me an hour to get them all mixed up and then another hour to bake them. While they were cooking, I got ready and fed all the critters, it made for a crazy day. The dinner was delicious and we had a fun little program and then the clean up began. It's just a good thing we had about ten sisters helping and Rich even put all the tables away and mopped the kitchen floor for us or we would still be there. I was so tired when I got home that when I finally got settled in to bed I had a painful charley horse in the back of my leg. I finally jumped up and went to the kitchen a got an ice pack and the pain finally went away. I've been wondering all morning if there comes a time when you are too old and out of shape to have a calling? Especially, decorating the church building. Now the clean up begins in my own house with all the dishes from my potato making extravaganza. We are going to try and have family pictures taken this weekend when Spencer, Annie and their kids get here. Trying to coordinate clothes for ten adults and eighteen kids has been my main concern for the last couple of weeks. It's been a long time since we've all been together, so hopefully it will work out. The weather is going to take a turn and be cold and rainy, but that makes it even feel more like Christmas to me. I want to just go in my sewing room and start a new quilt, but I've made a promise to myself that until the three I have waiting to be finished are done, NO more projects started. Plus, I need to do some organizing of all my material so I can find what I want to start working on in the new year, which is coming really fast.

Why Are The Holidays So Chaotic?

Yesterday morning I got a call from Ethan asking if I was ready to babysit. I said, "sure", and then hurried around getting everything I could done so I could spend some time with the kids. Now that the twins are two weeks old I think they are probably waking up and realizing how hungry they are, so Jen was up all night trying to get them settled. I remember how tired I was when I had one baby, so I can't imagine trying to soothe two at the same time. I knew Mindi and I needed to run a few errands but before that I went out and let Trulie, Max and Reagan jump on the trampoline and slide down the slide. We are lucky to be having a really mild fall and the sun felt good while I sat on the chair and watched the kids play. We are feeding the missionaries tomorrow so I needed to get some meat at the store so off we went with the kids to Bashas'. Trulie likes to go to Kiddy Kare so she took her little cousins in while we shopped. I've been so busy this week trying to get some things ready for our family pictures next week and do some Christmas shopping, I'm worn out. Every year I think it just doesn't seem right for life to be so chaotic around the holidays. Are there some people who just relax and not stress out about gifts and decorating? I wish I could just be happy with the blessings I have and not worry about all the fluff. Every week I have a countdown of things that need to be done and it's nice to cross them off the list. Next week we have the Relief Society and Ward Christmas parties, plus Spencer and Annie will be traveling home next Saturday. It's been way too long since I've seen the Boston Larsens so that will be a happy day. I have hardly seen Rich this week, he's busy trying to get five jobs done in one week. He is an eternal optimist and thinks he's Superman, but we both can tell how much age affects our productivity. I still have two trees to put ornaments on and my house to clean so I better get busy.

A Fun Day With Jen and the Kids

Yesterday I went out to spend the day with Jen out at her house. Ethan had asked me if I could go help her because she had a few errands to run and needed help. We fed and burped babies, ran to Walmart, came home, fed and burped the babies again. It's been a long time since I've fed a newborn and I was amazed at how natural it felt to me. I did get a little confused wondering which of the twins I was feeding and I even think Jen has a hard time keeping them straight. She had to take the babies to have their newborn screenings, so I stayed home with Max and Reagan and tried to stay awake while they watched a movie. I need to take a nap in the afternoon and I'm not usually babysitting kids, they were still alive when Jen got home. Whew! We waited for Brookie and Kylie to get home from school and then we headed over to Kohls to shop for clothes for our family pictures that hopefully will happen when Spencer and Annie get here next week. When I finally got home around six last night I was so tired. I can see the wisdom in having children when you are young because this old grandma couldn't handle newborns, toddlers and teenagers all at the same time. As I was getting ready to leave Brookie said, "Grandma, are you going to be in Heaven when I am older?" It took me by surprise and I didn't know quite how to answer her. I said, "I hope I'm still around when you get older, I want to be there when you get baptized." I could tell she was trying to figure out when she would be eight years old. I must look really old for her to ask me when I'm going to heaven. I then told her that we never know when we will be going to heaven, every day could be that day. Today is going to be a busy one as I try and catch up on my work but it sure was fun being around the younger generation, I was in bed asleep at 9:30, that's just how old this grandma is.

The Best Gift We Have Been Given

We had a really nice Thanksgiving Day. This is the year that my siblings went to their in-laws so the stress was way less for me. Mindi even commented on how nice it was. With the stress of the birth of the twins the weekend before, I was relieved we would have such a small group. I got a small turkey and it tasted really good even though I really don't like turkey much, it tasted good. My Mom and Dad, Mindi and Candi and their families were the only ones we had for dinner and then my sister and her son came by for pie later in the evening. It was also Reagan's birthday so after everyone left we headed out to Ethan's to celebrate her birthday and hold the twins. They are so cute and it's nice Gage got home from the hospital on Wednesday night so he was home for turkey day. As soon as we got home from Ethan's I started taking all my decorations down. I then started putting up Christmas decorations because I'm on call now to go help Jenn if she needs me. Her Mom took a week off from work to help them last week, so now it's up to me for moral support. Life is busy and I'm sure it's going to get more chaotic before Christmas but I love the holiday music and the feelings I get when I see the lights and think of the birth of the Savior, which is the best gift we have been given.