An Emotional Year

Tomorrow will be the first anniversary of my Dad's journey to Heaven. I was warned that even though we knew he was sick with cancer and was going to pass away, until it actually happened I wouldn't understand or start the grieving process. Boy was that right as I have struggled for a year trying to deal with his death.  I have always battled with my weight since I had five pregnancies in the first ten years of marriage. My sister and I have been seeing a doctor for the last few years and going up and down the scale between hip replacement and her recent knee replacement. After Dad died I was out of control with my eating. I am an emotional eater but this was something I couldn't control. For the last few months I have felt better and have battled back to get to where I was before he left us. Today as I weighed in and got my shot, I was a little disappointed that I was .2 pounds over what I was last year after gaining fifteen pounds. I was beating myself up when my sister said, "What is the difference between those two weights, .2 pounds? Your jewelry weighs at least that much." My sister is really a smart person and has way more intellectual thinking than emotional like I am. As we called Mother to report our results, she told us how darling we are and that we take after our sweet Dad in our battle of the bulge. She didn't give us the right DNA to be skinny but I'm thankful for my body anyway. I was able to play sports and travel with teams. I was able to carry four babies and give birth to them.  I'm thankful for all the good qualities my parents gave me and try to overcome those things I don't like about myself. At some point I will have to become an adult and stop blaming my parents for my shortcomings, but I still wish I would have gotten Mom's skinny genes.