Number Sixteen Is Here

Yesterday morning at around 7 a.m. the phone rang. My heart sinks every time we get a call either late at night or early morning. It was Ethan telling us they were on their way to the hospital to start the process of delivering our sixteenth grandchild, Reagan. Rich had to leave for a meeting so I was by myself listening to church music and praying that all would go well with Jenn. There is something about the birth process that brings you to your knees. I don't know what song it was but it really touched me and the tears started to flow. I was wondering if this baby, that is about to be born, knows her other sister who went to heaven three plus years ago. I believe that we lived in heaven with other spirits waiting to come to earth to get a body, but I don't know if those spirits that have died mingle with those waiting to come. Jenn is a pro at this as she's had six babies in ten years. We are so proud that she and Ethan are willing to take on this task of raising these special children. I have spent the last two weeks working on quilts for this baby. Jenn said she wanted an animal print but I had a hard time finding animal prints for babies. I think they turned out cute. We may be getting to the end of our posterity. The kids are figuring it out, but we are still hoping for a few more from a couple of them.

Moving On To Christmas

We had a nice Thanksgiving with about fifty people at our house. This was the ON year for the Greer family but with Lennie on a mission and some of the older grand children now hosting their in-laws we didn't have that many, which is probably good. I realized that I'm not getting any younger as I spent all day yesterday in bed sick from something, stress, too much food, or just plain old tired. I'm feeling a little bit better today but when I look at all that is ahead of me I want to just go back to bed. I want to get my tree up and the lights on our house done because last year it seemed like Christmas came so fast we never really got finished decorating. I have also decided to have a more simple decore, I just don't have the desire to do what it takes, hopefully less will be okay. Tomorrow our 16th grandchild will be born, if all goes well with the scheduling at the hospital. I have been busy finishing her quilt and shopping, which I love to do. There is just something special about a newborn. When I think of Ethan and Jenn being the parents of six kids I can't believe it. I hope they are up for the challenge. As I look back on my life I am just thankful that my kids are healthy and productive members of society. At one time, when they were all teenagers I had my doubts but I'm so thankful for each of them. It's weird because my Mom used to tell me all the time how thankful she was for her children. When I was raising my kids I was happy to make it to another day without driving my car over a cliff. Now that I'm hitting the golden years I can see what my Mom was saying. The only thing we really have and can depend on is the love of our family.

Thankful

These last few days have been busy, we've been trying to get the house clean and food ready for our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. At times I feel overwhelmed with all that is going on. Today Mindi and I ran a bunch of errands. We needed to hit some stores because I NEVER shop on Black Friday because of the crowds. Lately I've felt more emotional than I usually am, sometimes I just have to ask myself, "what is wrong with you?" I have so many conflicting feelings about so many things I'm making myself crazy. As I was visiting teaching on Monday we were talking about receiving revelation, and what we need to do to get personal revelation. The main thing is to live the commandments so we can be worthy for the blessings and answers to problems in our lives. As we were driving from store to store I kept thinking about some things that are bothering me right now. In the news lately there have been lots of reports of child abuse and parents who take the lives of their own children. Just this morning as I got on the internet I read several articles all over the country where mothers and fathers have done the unthinkable to their children. Who are these people and why do they even have children? Anyway, as I was watching t.v. tonight there was a "breaking news" story of a plane that crashed into the Superstition Mountains just east of us. This doesn't help with my fear of flying. As the night progressed they kept getting new information about the crash site and finally said there were six people who lost their lives, three young children. They had flown up from Safford to get the kids and take them back for Thanksgiving. How tragic to have this happen at this time, or any time. I feel so bad for the families of these people, I know what an awful experience it is as my Uncle Kenneth was killed when his plane hit a mountain and all those aboard were killed. That happened about fifty years ago and my Mom still tells me how hard it was for the family. As I was feeling sorry for myself today, wondering what I can do to help myself, I realized that even though I have some challenges, I have lots more to be grateful for than most people. So tomorrow I am really going to try and relish the time I have with the fifty or so people who want to come to my house and share our food. I never want to take for granted the relationships I have with others, you never know when one of them will be taken from you.

Mom's 82 Now

Yesterday was my Moms 82nd birthday. We were trying to find a time to celebrate with everyone but because of some conflicts my sister and I decided to just go to Scottsdale and take her to lunch. Well, actually my Dad ended up treating us to Mexican food at Los Olivas. Talk about going back in time, that is what it's like to go back to downtown Scottsdale for me. I grew up in Scottsdale but left in the 70's to go to college and then get married. As we left the restaurant I noticed that we were right across from the hospital. As I walked across the street there was the Piper Cancer Center. I told my sister, "I hope I never have to go there." Then a little bit farther down there was the Stroke Center and next to it the words TRAUMA caught my eye. My mind went back to the day Kamber passed away and what trauma really means to each of us. After visiting with our parents and having a sliver of pie Mell had brought, we left their humble home and started back to Gilbert. As we got down to McDowell street I told my sister how different our family is now. We used to be able to take Mom out for dinner with all the siblings and have such a nice time. Now with Lennie serving as a Mission President and my other brother getting divorced, we have to go it alone. My sister even said, "we've really lost both of our brothers." It just isn't the same anymore, but I guess that's what life is all about, doing the best you can with what you have to work with. Mell and I have talked about this before, we are so lucky to have both of our parents still with us and that they are in as good of shape as can be expected in their 80's. They still live alone and take care of each other, even with the little health problems each of them have. My Dad talks about how he wants to live at least until my brother gets home from his mission, I hope it's a lot longer than that. This Thanksgiving will be another one where we will have all the family at our house but things have definately changed. We will have some dear members not with us, but life goes on and we will keep trying to do the best we can.

"It Just Isn't That Bad"

I woke up this morning in tears. I didn't sleep well worrying about struggles going on and I am just feeling tired. Tired of life as I know it. When I was young I thought "almost sixty" would be a piece of cake. My kids would be grown and gone, Rich and I would have enough money to travel and do what ever we wanted, and our health would be good enough to just enjoy life. I know I have so much to be thankful for and most of that I don't deserve, but life is hard for me right now. Rich promised me that when he quit his job and started his own business he would "be home more, and we would have way more money." I have even threatened to put it on his headstone when he leaves this earth, because anyone who owns their own business is married to it, especially construction. The kids never understood why we couldn't go on vacation but how can you say, "Mrs. Jones, I know your kitchen is torn to he#@ and you are doing dishes in the bathroom sink but we've decided to take the kids to Disneyland. It never happened. Anyway, after my pity party this morning I got up and decided to get some things done. Then my sister picked me up and took me to a doctors appointment. As we were driving down Lindsey we both notice the beautiful trees along the road with the prettiest fall leaves. This time of year is suppose to be reflective of all the things we are thankful for and all I'm seeing are the trials. Rich has to talk in church on Sunday. He brought some papers he had found in for me to read. I hate it when he does it, but I usually need the message. One of the little sayings was from Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, "A man's success is made up off progressive failures which he rises above, because he experiences and ventures every day. And the more falls he gets, the faster he moves on." We are all going to go through trials, the death of a loved one, illnesses, loss of jobs, and failure of our hopes and aspirations. That is Life! Now I need to figure out how to develop a habit of happiness. As Rich told me this morning, "it just isn't that bad."

People Watching At The Mall

I woke up early this morning and decided to get to work. I never sleep that good when Rich is away, even though I have the whole bed to myself and he's not there waking me up getting ready for work. As I fed the animals and got my house cleaned, Mindi asked if I was going to go with her. She needed a break from the kids, laundry, cleaning and just being a Mom. She was in desperate need of some retail therapy. So we took Miss Trulie and off we went to the Mall. I don't do that well with walking from store to store, so I sat with the baby in the car while Mindi hit a couple of baby stores. I entertained a four month old and people watched. After about an hour we decided to get out of the car and do some walking to a clothing store a little ways away. We got about ten things to try on and went into the dressing room. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "I have NO business shopping for clothes looking like this, my hair looks terrible." Mindi found a couple of shirts but I decided that having three closets full of clothes were enough and we left. Mindi even asked me if I was okay because it's not like me to not buy something, especially when Rich is out of town. By this time it was about lunch time, so we decided to just get a pretzel, cheese and lemonade that was close to where we parked. We got our food and went to the car to eat. As we were sitting there, again watching all the people walk by, a girl came around the corner with a young boy going into the pretzel store. She was so pretty and looked so happy with a huge smile. She had a red blouse on with a blue purse hanging over her shoulder. The thing is, she didn't have any arms. Mindi turned to me and said, "How will she eat without any arms?" We sat there watching as she came out with the young boy holding his pretzel and drink. They turned the corner and walked up the sidewalk shopping. Then again Mindi said, "I guess it could be so much worse, but she looked way happier than I am right now." As I sat there thinking, looking at all those people some were skinny and cute, others cute and pudgy. I realized how much I compare myself to others. I saw couples holding hands shopping, I can't ever remember Rich and I holding hands strolling through the Mall together on a Saturday morning. It would never happen, trust me. I was feeling a little bit sorry for myself but do I really want to take Rich to the Mall? Not a chance, the only shopping he does is at Home Depot and sometimes Wal Mart. Anyway, after shopping I was in desperate need of a nap so I came home and went to bed while Mindi continued her shopping spree at Bashas' and now she's off to Hobby Lobby and somewhere else. I'm too old and tired to shop all day but I'm thankful I was able to feel gratitude for what I do have even if it's a husband who won't go to the Mall.

Veteran's Day 2011

Rich left this morning at 5 a.m. to go to Camp Lo Mia for stake youth conference. I hope he stays warm up in the mountains because he hates the cold. He has left us here to do irrigation and "hold the fort down", whatever that means. After he left I did three loads of laundry and made four batches of pomegranate jelly. I will be so glad when the juice is either frozen or given away. I love the smell of my house when I'm cooking with pomegranates, it reminds me of my Mom and special aunt who started the tradition of giving the bright red jelly to friends and neighbors for Christmas. It does make me really tired and my back starts to hurt, I need a nap. Yesterday I went to see my surgeon about the pain that continues to bother me in my hip. He is going to run some tests on my blood to see if maybe I'm allergic to the metal in the prosthesis and then we can make some decisions about what my options are. It's really confusing when all the x rays, bone scans and CAT scans show everything looking good, but basically it can all look good and still not be working right. It's frustrating, but I'm thankful to have a good doctor. As he was looking at my scans he found I also have arthritis in my back and an old rib injury. I don't remember ever hurting my rib, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. After my appointment we went to the Outlet Mall to shop with Spencer's money at the Reebok store. That is always fun but so tiring walking around trying to find sizes and colors. I was able to get some nice shoes for Rich and my Dad and some really cozy socks for me and my Mom. It's basically all workout clothes and a few jerseys and shirts, but not much Bronco stuff. Anyway, it really helps the girls get new shoes for all the kiddos. Today is Veteran's Day and I am so thankful for all those who are in the military and keep us safe. I had two uncles and a brother-in-law who were in the Air Force. One uncle was killed in a plane crash up by Flagstaff. The other did two tours as a navigator of B 52 bombers flying over Vietnam. Another uncle was in the army. I also have a cousin who served as a Special Op in the Marines who was airlifted into Afghanistan after 9-11. These guys are heroes to me and I hope they know how much I look up to them and appreciate their service.

Working on Charity and Courage

My life keeps rolling along. We had a good weekend with Trent's baptism and church. We now have five of our sixteen grandchildren who have been baptized. They are so special to us. All the kids and grand kids were there except Spencer and Annie in Colorado. Spencer played in Oakland on Sunday and the Broncos won, so that was fun. We have to tape the game and watch it after church. The game is usually over before we get through the first half, so we try not to find out the score until we see it for ourselves. This week during the third quarter we got a call from Annie saying Spencer got injured, but not seriously. He had an MRI on Monday and called to say there's nothing majorly wrong, so our prayers have been answered again. He should be able to practice and play this next game. My thoughts this week have been with my cousin's daughter who is 28 years old and fighting breast cancer. She got an infection from the surgery and was hospitalized last week with a high fever. She had surgery again on Mon. to remove the infection. The question I've asked a million times since Kamber passed away, WHY? We knew when we came here it was going to be hard and we would be asked to do things that were very unpleasant, but a young mother having to go through such a horrible illness shakes my soul. I hope that in the eternities we will be able to see how much our trials helped us become more like the Savior, but now it just makes me so sad to think of all the suffering that's going on in the world. I've been reading a Biography of President Monson's life, "To The Rescue." He is such an example of charity, Something I read yesterday really hit home with me. He said "Perhaps when we face our Maker, we will not be asked, 'How many positions did you hold,' but rather, 'How many people did you help?' One can never love the Lord until he serves Him by serving His people." Maybe this is the answer to my question "why" we need to have these trials, so that we can serve others and be served and hopefully some day have the pure love of Christ which is charity. I know I am a long way out there and charity doesn't come that naturally to me sometimes but I'm working on it. Tomorrow I go see the surgeon to see what he can do to help me. I don't know what I want to hear either way the news isn't going to be good. I had Rich and my Dad give me a blessing on Sat. while we were together, all I can remember is him giving me courage to do what it will take to be healed and out of pain. Hopefully that blessing will help me in the decisions I will have to make in the future, courage isn't one of the gifts I was born with, but something to work on in the future.

Thankful for Being a Mom and Grandma

I can't believe how the weeks are turning into months faster than I can keep up. Candi called me yesterday and asked about our plans for Thanksgiving. I told her I'm trying to get through the baptism and luncheon for Trent on Sat., then we will start thinking about Thanksgiving. This month will be crazy again. Besides turkey day, Jenn will probably have her baby and it's my Mom's 82nd birthday as well. This morning I woke up early and got going. My Mom came over to help me do some of my jelly and picked up some more juice to finish hers. Before she got here I put up all my Fall decorations and did some laundry. I started thinking about all the years I've been a stay at home Mom and now Grandma. Thirty-five years seems like a long time to be doing the same thing over and over. I was talking to someone the other day about how hard life is. How busy it is to have children and try and do your best to raise them. As we were talking, it came down that basically the more kids you have, the more crazy life becomes. I finally said, "I do have some regrets in my life, but I have never regretted having my children." They aren't perfect, but they are mine. I was asking Rich the other day if we could just close up the business, move into a one bedroom condo and rest for a while. Of course we can't, he loves his job, even though the economy has tanked, he still loves to work. I guess that's better than having a lazy husband. Yesterday we watched Brookie and Max while Jenn was at the doctor. It's so fun having these little people around. They say the funniest things. I'm so thankful that I was able to have children and that my kids have chosen to bring these little spirits into our family. I can't wait until little Reagan is born, life will just get a little busier and a lot more fun!

Turning Juice Into Jelly

I woke up this morning at 3:45 a.m. with such a severe pain in my leg I thought I was going to have to call 911 or go to the hospital. It felt like my whole leg was going to blow up. It's happened a couple of other times but never this bad. I finally got up took some pain reliever, put an ice pack on and tried to go back to sleep. That never really happened as I could hear a bunch of racket going on outside my bedroom, plus the stupid dogs were trying to get to the baby chickens. Oh the joy of running a small petting zoo. I decided to just get up and start making jelly out of the pomegranate juice we worked so hard for last week. I had just finished up my third batch when my Mom called for the second time, to check up on me before she's off to the Temple. My Mom and Dad are my biggest cheerleaders and even though they are in there 80's and I'm almost 60 I'm still their little girl. I know they have my back, NO matter what I'm going through. I was telling them that I just don't think I signed up for these trials. I said, "Oh yeh, send me down, I don't mind if I'm crippled and in constant pain. Let me suffer through the drowning death of my grandchild. Let me live through one disappointment after another, that's what I want." After I had my pity party my Dad said, "You know Teri, all these things you are talking about aren't going to mean a thing in the big scheme of things when you get to Heaven." By then I was telling him that I probably won't be there in Heaven but will be fine in Hell. I'll have lots of company there. Then they started reminding me of all the positives in my life. "Your four "darling" children and even "more darling" sixteen grandchildren. My beautiful home, my testimony, my temple recommend, my chickens," okay Dad you're stretching a little bit on that one. I guess I just don't remember when I was in Primary and Young Women's them teaching, "now brace yourself because you are about to go through some horrible trials before you can return home." Maybe if they would have told me I might have made some different decisions in my life. Anyway, it is what it is, and hopefully the sun will come up tomorrow so that I can spend the day making more jelly and maybe get some other chores done along the way. I guess I have heard something about "enduring to the end," maybe the end will come soon.