Heatwave Continues

I didn't realize how hard it would be to get back to the hot weather. It seems like the older I get the harder the summer temps are to deal with.  I hate to complain because I know many people are forced to work in the heat, so I will stop talking about how much I hate it. This week I had blood work done, a doctors appointment for my hand and went to lunch way too much. When I decided to go to Montana I really didn't think it through enough.  I was desperate for a change and thought it would be fun to be in a new location with family I love. I wasn't prepared for the emotional part of going away from home and it brought up lots of feelings I had as a child. I remembered a time when my Mom was really sick and hospitalized.  My Dad couldn't take care of all four of us so they sent Lennie and I up to stay with our grandparents in Eagar, Arizona.  I remember how alone and sad I felt as we were with these relative strangers who really weren't too "warm and fuzzy" towards us. I don't even remember how many days or weeks we were there. I think one day I got word they were coming back to get us and I was so excited to pack my suitcase. I remember standing by the door, waiting for someone, anyone to come rescue us. I think it was late in the afternoon when my Grandmother broke the news that they weren't going to come that day. I think I cried the whole rest of the day. I had those same feelings in Montana, even though I was with family who treated me great, I still had that longing for home. It always amazes me that a lot of my sadness and anxiety come from experiences I had as a child. When I would call home my family here would tell me to enjoy the cooler weather in Montana because it was hotter than Hell down here. It didn't matter how nice the weather was, I was homesick for the desert, my home, my pool and my family here. I've often wondered since Dad passed away in January if he felt like I did pulling in to Phoenix after being in Montana for almost three weeks. Did he feel joy to see his family who had already gone to the other side? Did he feel guilt or sadness that he left all of us, especially Mom alone? She has often asked me what I think Dad is doing in Heaven.  I would like to think that he still watches over us and hopes we are doing well. Boy how I wish I had just a few more days to be with him, but I'm happy he's not suffering anymore.

Cathing Up

I swear it's taken me a week to finally get caught up. I finally finished ironing all of Rich's shirts, both work and church and put the ironing board down yesterday. I've also caught up on my sleep. I didn't realize how much a trip like that would take out of this senior citizen.  I knew Montana was a long way away. I knew it was almost 1400 miles from my house in Gilbert. I just didn't know really how FAR that is away, but now I do.  I went this morning and got my B-12 shot that I missed while away, so hopefully I will be able to get some energy so I can get more accomplished around here. We are going to take the puppies to the vet this afternoon and get their shots and check-ups so we can sell them this weekend. Poor Mindi has been so overwhelmed with two litters of puppies but after this weekend she can hopefully sleep in. Last night I went with two other friends to take dinner in to a friend who's mother passed away last Saturday.  She looked so tired and I could relate to her because of losing Dad last January.  When I came home I was talking to Rich about my feelings. It's really hard getting older and seeing your parents health decline. It's so hard to say goodbye to them but are so happy when they are out of pain and suffering.  I'm so grateful to have had my parents for as long as I have and know that our relationships will continue on through the eternities.

"There's No Place Like Home"

Three weeks ago I left in a huge U- Haul with my son-in-law, Dave to deliver cabinets and granite to a job Ethan was doing in Billings, Montana.  Spencer and his family decided to move up there and wanted me to come visit, so I took the opportunity to hitch a ride. They didn't know I was coming so it was a surprise for them. I knew it was really far away but didn't realize just how far. It took us 29 hours to get that heavy load of materials up the mountains. Montana is beautiful and I spent lots of time in the car seeing Mt. Rushmore, Top of the World, Red Lodge and Big Timber where they spent the day fishing and swimming in the Yellowstone River.  I did pretty good for a while until my homesickness moved in and I needed to get home.  I was going to catch a ride home with Ethan when he finished the job but it seemed like everyday the timeline would change, until I lost hope of ever getting home.  So on Tues. night Dave flew up to Billings and I rented a car and spent two more days  coming home, which only took 21 hours.  We decided to come home a different way than we went up.  We came down through West Yellowstone and then through Idaho, Richfield, Utah, Kanab, Flagstaff and then finally home.  I was warned by my kids that it was really hot and after spending three weeks in the cooler weather, it was hard to hit the heat but it was so nice to get home to my own bed and the mountains of laundry, ironing and chores that needed to be done. I am so proud of myself for doing something so out of character for me. I learned a lot about myself and hopefully gained more gratitude for my husband and his hard work to provide for me. Sometimes I take for granted all that I've been blessed with but when I got away and had lots of time to think and ponder my life I gained a new perspective. It was so fun to spend some time with the Montana Larsen family and the grand kids are so sweet and cute, but there really is no place like home, even if it is 117 degrees outside.

Birthday, Top of the World and The Temple

We got home from Mt Rushmore on Friday and on Saturday it was Gunnar's seventh birthday. He was born a month early on the day we buried Kamber, so I was an emotional mess.  While we were eating breakfast Annie was explaining how special he is to our family and that he and Kamber probably passed each other in Heaven. By Sunday I was so homesick I cried most of the day. Ethan, who is also working up here picked me up and let me have my sobbing fest. We Face Timed home and I was able to talk to Rich and my Mom who were having dinner at Len and Julie's.  I also talked to Dave and Mindi about planning my trip home. That's still up in the air since Ethan came into some trouble with the stain for the doors and windows. Yesterday Spencer decided to take me to Red Lodge and the Top of the World. It was about an hour drive going towards Wyoming but the mountains were breathtaking and there was still snow on the top of the mountains. We got almost to the top but we were afraid we would run out of gas so we coasted down the mountain, got gas and ice cream before coming home.  Today is Annie's Grandpas ninety-third birthday so his son took him to the Temple. Spencer is busy with work, so she wanted me to go.  It's my kind of Temple, small and beautiful. I'm so thankful I got my courage up and went, there is a special feeling you have when you go through a session. I can see why Spencer wants to live in Montana, it is truly beautiful but I'll be glad to get home.  

Road Trip To Montana

One week ago I decided to come to Montana to visit Spencer and his family in Billings. My son-in-law Dave was driving a U Haul with a load of cabinets and granite for a job my son Ethan is doing here. After a couple of emotional breakdowns and a few near miss accidents we made it.  We were traveling through Utah on Pioneer Day and we talked about how hard it was going up those mountains sometimes not getting over 35 miles an hour. When we pulled in to Salt Lake the skies were lit up with fireworks everywhere.  I have never seen so many fireworks. It took us fifteen hours to make it to SLC and then another fourteen to get through Idaho and to Billings. As we were on the road all day Saturday I had lots of time to think about Kamber, as it was the seventh anniversary of her death.  Spencer didn't know I was coming so he acted excited.  I've had so much fun seeing the sights and doing some shopping. We left on Thursday to go to Mt Rushmore. Wow! What an amazing experience. The sacrifice that was made by those men is amazing. We spent the night in Rapid City, South Dakota and after touring Bear Country we headed back to Billings. I'm not going to want to go on another road trip for a long time.  Now I'm just waiting for a ride home or get my nerve up to fly. For now I'm just enjoying the cooler weather and the grand kids.