About a month ago we were asked to help with the Ward Christmas Party for the church. It was an honor to work with some of the most talented and dedicated people I know. We spent Friday afternoon decorating and then Saturday night working at the church serving dinner and then cleaning up. I have to tell you things just aren't as easy as they were when I was younger. I am so far behind now with my own projects and decorating, that I just want to go to bed and not wake up until Christmas is over. It doesn't help that I still have laundry, dishes, hungry animals and all the other chores I have to do to keep this house moving along. I have spent all morning trying to get my two trees decorated. I have asked myself several times why I'm doing it? I've lost my love for all the work it takes to get my house ready for Christmas. If I wasn't hosting the family dinner here at my house, I think I would buy a little tree and call it good. Tomorrow I'm spending the day shopping and running errands, it doesn't do me any good to stay here day after day and worrying about how I'm going to get everything done, so I'm going to spend the day out and about doing what I want and need to do. Last night when I went to bed I could tell the old dark cloud was looming close. I am so tired of giving my power away to those who really don't really care about me, or my opinions. You would think at sixty I would be able to take control of my emotions and not let others determine the way I act or feel. When I was talking to my friend a couple of weeks ago he told me there are three causes for being upset, or like I say, p*%$#^ off: (1) Unfulfilled expectations, (2) Undelivered communication and (3) Thwarted Intention. I just realized that in my life I pretty much live with all three of these examples, maybe that's why I spend a good deal of time upset. But life goes on and I know Christmas will come and go, the New Year will begin and I will start the cycle all over again, day after day, year after year.
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