Roosters Gone, Pomegranates Juiced

This has been a crazy busy week that I'm glad is over. It all started on Monday when I got a call from an elderly man who wanted to come get my roosters. We have been trying to get rid of them for a while and about to lose hope, when he got my name from a note we left at the feed store. He came out and we filled two cages and a small box with chickens for him to take out to his 10 acres Chandler. I made him promise me and practically do a "pinky swear" that he wouldn't kill them and off he went. I was so relieved but at 4:00 a.m. the next morning, I have to admit, I kind of missed all the crowing. I think I'm over it now and hope we won't be back in the same boat when our thirty babies grow up. The rest of the week we spent picking, washing and juicing pomegranates. We usually don't do it until the first week in Nov. but because Trent's baptism is next Sat. we thought we would get an early start. I helped my sister pick some trees they found in downtown Mesa on Wed. and then had the boys help pick my eight trees out back. On Thurs. Mindi and I went to Lehi to pick my friends two trees and then two trees in our neighborhood. We were so dirty and tired I though I was going to expire. Yesterday the family came in shifts and we got all the fruit juiced and bottled, finishing at 5:30 p.m. This has become a tradition in our family that my dear Aunt Tenna started way back when. I think about her every year as we take on this project. As we were picking I had this feeling of admiration for her and a sense of fulfillment in the "law of the harvest" kind of way. As we were sitting around the table with four juicers going, I realized why my Dad loves to plant a big corn field and vegetable garden every summer in the White Mountains. There is a sense of accomplishment when we do hard things that others wouldn't think of doing. Anyway, I'm glad that's over, now I will spend this week making jelly and getting ready for Trent's luncheon after he gets baptized next week. I'm going crazy but wouldn't have it any other way.

"I Spit On Fair"

I have finally climbed out of the "toilet" for the thousandth time in my life. Why does life have to be so hard for me? Every time I go into one of these funks I try and promise myself that once I get out, I will never go there again, but just like everything else in my life I can't make any promises. I've been reflecting a lot lately on why life just doesn't seem fair. My brother, who is a mission president in Washington, told me once that in law school the professor used to say, "I spit on fair." I still don't know what that means but I guess that in this life nothing is fair. I was talking to a dear friend of mine this morning. She is such an inspiration to me. When we lived in Lehi she was so kind to me and would take me to Mayo Clinic when they were trying to diagnose me back in the 80's. She has had such a hard life. She has nine children, one was still born with some birth defects. One of her daughters was born with some complications and has cerebral palsy, she is thirty-one years old now. She also had a baby at almost forty seven that continues to be a trial as he has autism and at times gets violent and pulls her hair and slaps her. What an angel she is and how much I admire her. As I was listening to her and trying to be a support like, "I'd beat one of my kids if they ever slapped me or pulled my hair out," I asked her how she even gets through the day. She doesn't think she's doing such a good job, but I know she has to be a special person to survive what she's gone through. I keep hoping that a miracle will happen and my hip will heal without further surgery, but I'm also realistic with the fact that it's been over a year and if anything it's getting more painful. We all fought in Heaven for the chance to come to earth, get a body, and prove that we would return home worthy to live with our Heavenly Father. This is the "Plan of Happiness" but sometimes it just doesn't seem so "happy" to me. I need to put everything into perspective and see all the blessings I have. I know it could be so much worse, so I will carry on doing what I can to keep moving towards the light and hopefully stay out of the toilet for a while.

My Balloon Is Losing Air

These last couple of weeks have been very disappointing to me in many ways. I have been through some really hard things in my life and even though I get a glimmer of hope that things will change, it's always the same old story. I was talking to my sister the other day about some of my frustrations and she told me a little story she uses in her "addiction recovery" group she and her husband run. She talks about all of us who have great hopes about our lives when we are young. As we get married, have children, buy our first house, get job promotions on and on our balloons fill up with air and we are flying high. Then when the trials come, as we know they will, financial problems, miscarriages, health problems, grandchildren passing away, relationships going bad, on and on our balloon starts to loose air. She said, "Teri, by the time you get our age, our balloons are pretty flat." That is what I've been feeling for a while now. How can I get my balloon filled up and hopefully in the air again? My surgeon called me yesterday and gave me the results of my CAT scan. He said that this test didn't show any abnormalities in the hip, BUT it is NOT normal to still be having pain fourteen months out. There is a possibility that my bone didn't grow around the metal socket and so this might be the reason for all the pain. The only way to fix it is to have another surgery. This is one of those experiences that make your balloon go flat, going through hell and then having the chance you get to do it again. Oh well, I lived through it once before and if that is what needs to get me out of pain and walking better I may have to do it. It will be the last resort though. Hopefully the sun will come up tomorrow and I can get some air flowing in my big flat balloon.

Trulie's Blessing and Water Turtle Rescue

We finally had Trulie's baby blessing on Sunday. Dave did a nice job and it was fun having all my kids and grand kids there. With Dave's family from Willcox, we took up about five long rows in the back of the church. When you get that much family together it's hard being reverent, but we got through it. We also had two returned missionaries speak, so there were people sitting all the way back to the Primary room. We spent a lot of last week getting all the food ready and preparing but it never seems like we are ready for a crowd like that. Feeding sixty hungry people gets harder the older I get. On Sat. I started having a really sore throat and a cough, I'm just hoping it isn't strep. I have too much to do to be sick. This morning we got three hours of irrigation. We never know how much water we'll get. Sometimes it just barely gets up to the front of our property and then other times we are flooded out within the first hour. I have a little area between our two houses where I have two ponds full of water turtles and fish. As I walked down to Mindi's to take some of her stuff to give her I saw that the water kind of got away from us. The whole area was under water and the turtles and fish were swimming all over the ground. As I looked harder I could see some little green things floating. I called Mindi out and she went on a turtle rescue finding nineteen babies. Mindi said, "what in the heck are we going to do with all these turtles?" I started my little "turtle operation" by rescuing a female from a girl in my ward about ten years ago. I eventually had Rich build me a pond because a baby pool wasn't working so well with the dogs. Then anytime someone didn't want their turtle, it ended up in my pond. I think at last count I have nine adult red eared sliders and now twenty-one hatchlings. We have also had about twenty baby chicks hatched in the last two weeks and I'm still trying to find someone to take my fifteen roosters. I don't know why people don't want roosters, it's so fun when they start crowing at 4:00 a.m. ha ha! Anyway, I'm glad last week is over and hopefully I can get my house back together and work on a couple of quilts. As I was sitting in church listening to Dave give Trulie her blessing I wondered what it was like when I was blessed. I leaned over and asked my sister if we had any grandparents or great grandparents at our blessings. She didn't have an answer but Trulie had two grandmas and one grandpa and a set if great grandparents, not to mention all the aunts, uncles and cousins. Hopefully some day she will appreciate all those who love her and were there to see her given a name and a blessing.

Glad the CT Scan is Over!

Yesterday I went to have a CT scan of my hip to see if we can find what's causing my pain and make me walk like a penguin. I hate these tests because they bring up so much anxiety. I made the appointment at a time when I could take some medication to help with the symptoms and off I went into the room. The girl was young, cute, and really friendly. She had to tie my feet together pointed in for some reason, I guess to put the hip in a certain position. As she slid me into the tube and started the machine I started to have a little panic run through my body. All I could think to do was start singing Primary songs. I wasn't singing very loud but I started with "Heavenly Father, are you really there, and do you hear and answer every child's prayer?" I don't know if she heard me or not but she started talking to me and said, "we're almost done." It only took about five minutes and the rest of the time I just shut my eyes and started praying about someone in heaven watching over my kids and grand kids. On the way home I was talking to Mindi about my situation. I don't want them to find anything wrong because that means another surgery, but if they don't find anything wrong can I live like this for the rest of my life? Either way it isn't good. Life has a way of keeping me on my toes, and I'm not too fond of that.

A few months ago I had a friend ask me if I could help her make a quilt for her new grandson due this month. I decided to just make it without her, knowing how busy she is working two jobs and taking care of her elderly parents, not to mention serving in Young Womens. She came by last night and picked it up, she seemed to like it and hope it will be used in Washington.

We are busy trying to get houses and yards ready for Sunday when we have everyone over after Trulie's baby blessing. Mindi made me this cute wreath to put on my door, I couldn't do it without her, I'm just sorry that she has to be the one always in the middle of all the problems and trials. Hopefully she will be blessed for her efforts. I sure appreciate all her support.

Busy Weekend and More To Come

Alyssa and Ben coming out of the Temple.

All of those invited to the sealing.

My sister Mell.

Trenter the birthday boy.

Last weekend we had two weddings, and celebrated two birthdays. My niece Alyssa was married on Friday and then a dear friend of the family was married on Saturday. We celebrated my sister Mell's 60th birthday on Sat. evening because Trent's birthday is on the same day, Monday Oct. 10. and Mindi was having a party for him. When you throw in two receptions, fall break, church and a football game, my head is still spinning. When we came out of the Temple after the wedding it was so pretty, there was a cool breeze and some puffy clouds in the sky. We were surrounded by family, and now the new family. I took my camera so I could take some wonderful pictures of this glorious event. When I got home and put them on the computer something didn't look right. I couldn't find the pictures I had just uploaded from the camera. I asked Mindi for some help and found out I had taken videos instead of pictures. I shouldn't be allowed to use any thing that requires the use of technology, how hard is it to take a few pictures? I guess pretty hard if you don't know you are on the video setting of a camera. Life continues to be hard and painful for me and I'm still not sleeping well at night because of the pain. Tomorrow I'm scheduled for a CT scan of my hip so hopefully the doctor can help me. The older I get the more confused I get about why we need so many struggles, but I guess it can always get worse. This Sunday we will have the blessing of baby Trulie with a luncheon after church. Mindi and I are busy planning the food and trying to get the house clean and the outside work done, it never ends so I guess I need to just enjoy the journey.

Lemon Machine, Pain, and Panhandlers

About a year ago I was in a fabric store and decided to buy a new sewing machine. I had a couple of old ones but the new fancy one that does about 50 different stitches caught my eye. After a short demonstration I brought my machine home and was so excited to start sewing. Well it worked pretty good for a while but one day as I was sewing the binding on a quilt it made a loud scary noise and the bobbin pulled out of the machine. I took it in and got it serviced, luckily it was still under warranty. When I got it home I started quilting on it again and the same thing happened, the weird sound and then the bobbin lifting out of the machine. So off we went again to the store, this time I was pretty ticked off. I talked to the guy who sold it to me and he said he was going to send it to their Glendale store for repair and if it did it again I could get a new machine. So two days ago I was in my sewing room putting the binding on a quilt for Trace and that darn machine did the same thing, this time the needled fell out before it made the noise and damaged the bobbin case. Now I'm really upset. I take the machine in this time in hopes of getting a new machine. When I got their the guy who sold it to me is in California, so they took my machine and will have him call me when he gets back. I have been up almost all night the last three nights with severe hip pain. It was so bad last night I decided to call the doctor about another cortisone shot or something to relieve the pain. When he called me back he decided that I need to have a CT scan to see if the medal replacement is in right or if I just have bursitis. Now my day really isn't going that well, no sewing machine, possible revision surgery, I'm up to my eyeballs in weddings and receptions this weekend that I need to shop for. Mindi and I pulled into the QT to get some gas when a young girl stopped Mindi and asked for $10 to get to Queen Creek. She told her a sob story about her mother dying and she's here from Michigan and on and on. Mindi came to the car and told me about the girl that needed some money. I got in my purse and gave her the $10. After Mindi talked to her for about a minute she got in the car and said, "I don't buy it. Something isn't right here." We watched as the girl went to a car and talked to a couple of guys and then went into the store. As we drove off we both felt like we had been taken for ride and been told a big fat story in order for some guys to get this girl to panhandle for them.
As I was telling my Mom how disappointing of a day it has been for me, no new sewing machine, having to maybe go through another surgery, and being duped out of ten bucks, all she said was, "at least you did what the Savior would have you do and helped someone. What ever she did with the money is up to her, let it go." So I'm going to let it go and hope that someday I will be blessed for trying to help a stranger, now if I can just get my new machine and my hip to stop hurting that will truly be an answer to my prayers.

Could It Possibly Be Cooling Down?

Well it's finally happened, we got a weather cool down and a little rain too. Last night as I was out feeding animals the clouds were starting to build and I could see lightning in the distance. After a hellish September, breaking all kinds of high temperature records it's so nice to feel a cool breeze on my face. I have heard of people who get depressed because of no sunshine, is there a possibility there could be some sort of a syndrome for too much sunlight and 110 degree temps everyday? I need to check that out. Rich and the boys got back from Green Bay where they traveled to watch the Broncos get slaughtered by the Packers. I must admit that I'm a really sore loser and on the verge of not watching the games anymore. It really messes with my already not normal head. Spencer hasn't been on a winning team since his Sophomore year in high school. He never got to go to a bowl game while playing in college, and the Broncos haven't made it to the playoffs since he's been there the last three years. My Dad always told me, "show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser." Anyway there has to be a reason why, I just don't know the answer. I was up a lot in the night with severe pain again. I felt so good yesterday and spent the day doing chores and sewing on a baby quilt. I guess it's time for another cortisone shot, but do I really want to fill my body with all those medications? What's a girl to do, suffer? I have been reading "To The Rescue" the book about President Monson. He is such a wonderful person who tries to help whoever and whenever he can. He talked about attending the funeral of a dear friend of his. Elder Monson wrote "He taught me to appreciate my family as he appreciated his." His motto was, "A man has but three things, his God, his family, and his friends." That pretty much sums it up for me too. The older I get the more I realize that all this stuff we have, just doesn't really matter. What really matters is our relationships with God, our families and friends.

I Will Never Be the Same Person

The treat table

Me with the "Birthday Boy"

This weekend has gone by so fast. Between listening to Conference and celebrating Troy's fifth birthday it's been crazy. I love listening to the talks and music of conference. Sometimes I felt the tears run down my face as something would touch my spirit. I have also noticed that after conference is over I go into a kind of dark hole. It may just be because there is so much good information given that I'm trying hard to process it, or maybe that I have so much work to do that I feel overwhelmed. Life has been really hard for me for a very long time and it is easy to feel like giving up. I know that I've been blessed beyond what I deserve, but I still have some things that bother me and just won't go away. I'm not the same person I was three years ago when Kamber passed away. I have also struggled for the last year trying to get this new hip to work and be pain free. I feel like that is a losing battle also. We were reminded in some of the messages today that this mortal life is meant to be hard. We have to go through some really crappy stuff to prove to our Heavenly Father that we will be faithful and live the commandments. The message that I heard loud and clear today was that we MUST endure to the end, whatever that is. I also need to do a better job at forgiving others. I try to blame it on my Dad or the Greer's for being a grudge holder, but whoever is at fault, I need to do better. Mindi did such a good job making Troy's birthday fun. She did a Super Mario Brothers themed party. Her creative juices just flow and everything has to be perfect. She molded chocolates to look like mustaches and yellow stars. She then dipped little donut holes in green colored chocolate and put little white dots on them to look like toadstools. Between the red gum balls, marshmallows and pretzels the kids were pretty much "high" on sugar when they went home. I'm so glad those days are over for me, now I can just enjoy the grand kids birthdays without doing any of the work.

Max loving his green cupcake!

Holding "Miss Trulie"