Pomegranate Time, Oh My!

Last week was crazy and this one doesn't look that much better. I felt so good on Saturday and got a lot accomplished. I was feeling really good about myself when as I was sitting in Stake Conference I started feeling sick again. My head was pounding and by the time I got home  was chilling, running a fever and shivering. I jumped into the hot bath, took some medicine and went to bed. I think I was up almost every hour on the hour during the night and felt like I'd been hit by a bus by morning. What the heck is wrong with me? My Mom kept calling me during the day checking on how I was doing and said, "boy you sure picked up a nasty bug." You Think! We just got home from picking pomegranates at my friend Sandy's house. She lets us have the fruit and then we make her some jelly, it works for me. It was so fun to have Julie back and she brought Aubrey and her little grandson Jonah, who wasn't feeling that great. My sister Mell, Mindi and I all got it done in under two hours. Last year it took us twice as long, so it was so nice to have the help. Now if I can just get Mindi's boys and their friends to help me pick my trees we will have all the fruit ready to start juicing on Friday. My plans to go to Florida to watch Spencer play have changed. We were going to leave Dave here to take care of kids, animals, and the house but it never really felt right for me. I don't think a cross country flight is the way to go for someone who is afraid to get on an airplane. I wish I had the courage to trust things in my life to go well, but if I don't feel good about it, I'm not going to do it just because others think I should. It seems like since I turned sixty and went to Landmark I'm not the same person. I'm getting really tired of the status quo and am searching for that new possibility they talked so much about at my forum. Someday I will have the courage to make that jump and have that new possibility I so need.

I Must Be An Idiot

It seems like the weeks are passing by so quickly that it will be Christmas before we know it. Yesterday was busy with a neighborhood luncheon and another volleyball game. As I was working around the house I pulled a rug out and there was a big scorpion under it. I didn't have shoes on and it didn't look like it was going anywhere, so I just grabbed some Clorox cleaner from my bathroom and sprayed it, thinking that would kill it. Later on in the evening as I was taking the food out to the dogs I felt a pain that made me think I had stepped on a piece of glass. Then I realized it was my friend, Mr. Scorpion that I hadn't killed. It got me on the side of my ankle and has been paining and numb since last night. This time Mindi pulled the rug out and stomped on it. I am convinced that I must just be an idiot sometimes. Why didn't I kill the dang thing? It sure would have saved me a lot of suffering and sleep. As I was telling Spencer about it he started laughing and said, "I'm surprised you even feel it anymore with all the times you've been stung, maybe you should wear some shoes." It was pretty funny and there's nothing I can do about it but laugh. But the next time I see one of these nasty things, I will find something and kill it before it has time to sting me again.

"If You Aren't Going To Help"

This morning when I went out to feed the animals there was a cool breeze blowing and the warm sun touching my skin. I felt such a strong feeling of gratitude to be up and moving after spending a day in bed and a few days getting back to normal. I talked to my daughter-in-law this week who struggled with an extremely infected ear all weekend. She said, "if you don't have your health, you don't really have anything." I have found this so true for me too. Tristyn's volleyball season is coming to an end, she only has two games left. As we have seen this little team struggle to play at their potential we heard a lot of complaints about the coach, some parents even wanting to get him fired. Mindi had finally had enough, so yesterday she went over to the house where the girls eat before the game and gave them a little pep talk. She talked about her experience with this coach, he being her very first coach when she was in 9th grade. She talked about her challenges as a high school and college athlete, then a coach and now as a mother of five kids. She told a story that Spencer told me his NFL coach shared with his players. He told them that after the devastating earthquake hit Turkey there was a young father who ran to the school where his son was when the earthquake hit. It was in ruins, so the father started digging with his bare hands hoping to find his child. All the people who saw him would tell him it was no use, the children were dead in the collapse of their school. The father kept digging and finally said, "If your aren't going to help me then move out of my way." How many times in my life have I felt that it was futile, I would never be okay again? Anyway, after 72 hours they found the whole classroom of kids alive. I think I remember hearing about this and the children had been found in an air pocket under the piles of rocks. These young kids today are so spoiled and don't really know how hard life is for some in other parts of the world. They played so well last night it looked like a different team. So, today they have asked her to come back and tell some more stories to get them pumped up for the game tonight. It isn't about winning and losing but it is all about attitude and hard work. I'm so thankful for all those around me that are such good examples of hard work and sacrifice, I wouldn't be the same without them.

Thankful To Be Out Of Bed

Last weekend was busy with our Ward party a wedding reception and church. I kept feeling like I was getting sick but never really got bad enough to stay down. Yesterday I got up and started working around the house when I hit the wall. I started chilling and running a fever and felt like crap. I spent the rest of the day in bed, taking my temperature and trying to control the pain. It's been a long time since I felt that bad. I have heard from several people that this 24 hour flu is going around where you run a fever have a terrible headache and then you feel better. As I was lying in bed praying to get well, I wondered how those that are truly too sick to get out of bed day after day do it. I look around my house and see all that needs to be done and even though I'm still not back to normal at least I can function a little bit. On Sunday night we went over to Ethan and Jenn's for dinner and then went out to their new house to see the progress that has been made on the house they are fixing up to live in until they can build something bigger and better. The property is way out East but there is a calm peaceful feeling there. It reminded me of when we first moved to Gilbert and there were very few homes around us and it had such a nice country feeling to it. Rich and I have contemplated selling this house and moving out there and building something but feel we are to old and tired to start over. It has taken us seventeen years just to get this house finished and it still needs lots of work done to it. It was so fun to have Mom and Dad come out and we had eleven of our seventeen grandchildren there. They had so much fun running around the yard, climbing dirt piles and catching lizards. I'm thankful to be up and feeling better today, being sick is not fun and I have so much to do to keep things running around here, besides I think my animals missed me.

 

"Saturday Is A Special Day"

"Saturday is a special day, it's the day we get ready for Sunday." I don't know why that little Primary song keeps going through my head but it is. The weather has finally cooled off a little bit and I've already forgotten how miserable the summer was. Rich has planted our winter lawn and is in the process of planting flowers in the flower beds in the front. This is always an emotional day as I see the purple flowers being planted in memory of sweet Kamber.  It's hard to believe it's been five years and we still have hard days, but finally there are more good days than bad, so we are thankful for that. Mindi has been crazy trying to find Halloween costumes for her little goblins. This is when I'm so thankful to be a grandma and not have to worry about those dang costumes, I'm not a very big fan of Halloween. I know lots of people who love dressing up and have amazing abilities to transform themselves, but to me it's just too much work. We have our ward Fall Festival and a wedding reception tonight, church tomorrow and then next week is busy with volleyball games and picking and juicing pomegranates. Then there's Halloween and getting my house ready for Thanksgiving. I'm trying to pace myself so I don't end up having a breakdown, but this is such a busy and fun time of year. Life would be so boring if I didn't have so much to do, but I'm going to need a nap for sure to be able to get through all these activities.

"Why Shouldn't You Be Happy?"

Sunday night when I went to bed I was really upset and irritated. I wonder why I let myself fall in to those traps time and time again that put me in a bad mood and affect my self esteem. So Monday morning I pulled out my I Pad and started reading a book Spencer had suggested to me. The chapter was titled, "The Path of Unconditional Happiness." The author talks about how the highest spiritual path is life itself. He then says, "Do you want to be happy, or do you not want to be happy?" I have struggled with this question for most of my life. I have seen others that just seem to be happy all the time no matter what their circumstances are. "The purpose of your life is to enjoy and learn from you experiences. You were not put on this Earth to suffer. The fact remains that you were born and you are going to die. During the time in between, you get to choose whether or not you want to enjoy the experience." It sounds so simple but how do you live that way? How do you not let things upset you that really push your buttons? I know lots of times I get stuck into the past thinking about all those things that have affected me. I think I have dealt with them and all of a sudden they are back in my brain making me upset.  In the book he says, "Think of how much energy is wasted resisting what has already happened. Since the event has already passed, you are actually struggling with yourself, not with the event. In addition, contemplate how much energy is wasted resisting what might happen. Since most of the things you think might happen never do, you are just throwing your energy away." Maybe that's why I'm always so tired, using up all my energy on things I can't control. I loved this paragraph when he says, "In the end, enjoying life's experiences is the only rational thing to do. You're sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Go ahead, take a look at reality. You're floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience. You're going to die anyway. Things are going to happen anyway. Why shouldn't you be happy? You gain nothing by being bothered by life's events. It doesn't change the world; you just suffer. There's always going to be something that can bother you, if you let it." It sounds so simple, but for me so hard.

"Does It Really Matter How You Die?"

Every week I think will get easier or less busy but life continues to be hectic and challenging. With the kids home from school for Fall Break, did we ever have a break in school? It was hard. I look at Mindi and wonder how she does it with teenagers and a two-year old, but she perseveres. On Thursday we had two birthdays, my sister Mell and grandson Trent. We decided to go to Scottsdale and pick up Mom and Dad and go for Mexican Food. My Aunt Sue and Uncle Carl are here from California, so they joined us and so did Rich, who was working in the area. During lunch we decided to take them up to the mansion on the hill to show them how the rich and famous live. Sister Greer doesn't like going up mountains and always backseat drives, so we sent her with Rich. I wasn't in the car but as they were heading up the driveway she said, "Oh Hell!" Yes, Sister Greer said a bad word. Anyway, as we toured this 23,000 square foot home it was overwhelming. I saw it when it was first being renovated but haven't been back to see all the furnishings, which had a million dollar budget. As we were walking from room to room with the three kitchens, ten bathrooms and who knows how many bedrooms, I lost track, I wondered what it would be like to have to clean and take care of that monster. My parents talked about how grateful they were for their small humble little home they have lived in for over fifty years. I too am happy with my modest home that we work constantly to improve. After celebrating with the older generation I went out to Basha High School to watch Tristyn play volleyball. What a good game. We ended up losing in five games, but the girls played better than I had ever seen them, so it was hard to complain. It's funny as you get older how some things just aren't that important anymore, I'm still competitive, but some things just aren't worth getting stressed out over. When you get kicked in the head a few times you realize what is really important, how you treat others. Anyway, I don't see an end to the things I need to get done. Pomegranate season is here so we are trying to decide when to harvest and juice them. I am also thinking about flying to Florida to watch Spencer play football. This is something I'm extremely afraid to do, but as I was telling my Aunt Sue about my fear she said, "Teri, does it really matter how you die? If it's your time you can't do anything about it anyway. You are missing out on so many things in your life because of your fear." There was something in that statement that made me realize that my life is limited because of my lack of faith, so today, right now I am considering getting in an airplane and flying clear across the country. Am I crazy? I think so.

 

 

"Push My Personal Handcart"

Rich got home yesterday morning after spending the weekend with his sister and her family in Utah. I know that he felt bad I didn't go with him but he likes to "speed travel," something I just physically can't do. He leaves early in the morning for the airport and spent three days flying and driving over 1700 miles. I had lots of things I wanted to get done this weekend but didn't get very much accomplished. I did make some cinnamon rolls and worked on a quilt for my sister to give to her husband. I watched eight hours of General Conference and was uplifted by the talks and music. A talk by Jeffrey R. Holland resonated with me as he talked about people who suffer from mental illness and other trials. Sometimes I feel alone in my own mind as I see others who do things I wish I could do. I felt that he really could relate and that there will be a time that the suffering will be over and we will be healed. I know my little anxiety and depression are nothing compared to some of the major mental illnesses people suffer with, but it still affects my life everyday. I'm so thankful for my family and friends who accept me as I am, and try to make things easier for me, even though I know it drives them crazy sometimes. I thought it was interesting as I listened to conference at how many talks said that life wasn't meant to be easy. That adversity and trials make us grow spiritually and become more humble and compassionate towards others. I remember hearing someone say, "at some point we will all have to push our personal handcarts up the hill." Referring to the pioneers who suffered terribly as they walked across the plains. I am thankful for my pioneer ancestors and hope to be worthy to see them on the other side.

 

 

Trulie's New Pink Pig Backpack

I didn't sleep well last night because I kept waking up and looking at the clock. Rich had to get to the airport early for his trip to Utah for his missionary reunion tomorrow night and spend time with his sister and her family. I kept thinking I would fall back to sleep but I have so much to get done, my mind was swirling. I have felt for a long time that I'm the one left behind while others around me are movers and shakers. I was the one staying home taking care of the kids while Rich worked and churched. I had a choice to either stay home or go, but I felt it was important that Rich get to go visit his family without me there. I got to thinking about my own life and how fun it would be to have a weekend with my brother and get to spend some time with him alone. I know that will never happen, but I still think it would be fun. Yesterday Mindi and I did some grocery shopping on Senior Citizen day at the grocery store. We made the mistake of taking Trulie the Tornado and it took us two hours to get through the store. As we were working our way through the store we stopped on one aisle to look for something. I was talking to a guy who was telling me about his upcoming trip to Disneyland. When Mindi pushed her little car cart with Trulie in it, there was blue fabric softener spilled all over the floor. Yes, this darling little angel of a child had grabbed a container of Purex, opened it, and poured it all down the front of her clothes and all over the floor. Mindi went to tell someone they had a "clean up on aisle 5" and we waited so no one would slip and fall. I ended up buying the half full bottle of fabric softener and a pink pig backpack Trulie had put in the cart. The money we saved shopping on this bargain day was really spent buying things that Trulie destroyed. I think next time we will just take her to daycare and shop in peace. Now that's an idea, shopping in peace.

Birthdays and Obamacare

When the weather gets hot all the flowers in front die and the sunflowers move in. I have to admit I'm not a big sunflower fan but Rich thinks it looks better than empty flower beds. Well, this Saturday I woke up and thought, "If Rich doesn't get rid of those sunflowers I'm going to pull them up when he goes to Conference this weekend." About ten minutes later he walked in and said, "do you want to come out and say goodbye to the sunflowers?" After thirty-eight years together I guess we are starting to think alike. So out they came and he hauled them out to the dump. I felt really bad on Sunday morning as I looked out my kitchen window to see all the little birds sitting on the rose tress wondering where their breakfast went. But it is so nice to look out and see the roses and I can even see the neighbors house now. Today is October 1st. and it is my grandson Troy's birthday and also my niece Alishia's. Next week it will be my sister Mell and another grandson Trent's birthday on the tenth, not to mention my son-in-law B.J. and little Dane, Spencer's baby share their birthday on the eleventh. Why all the October birthdays, what's so special about January? Spencer is back in Florida playing for the Buccaneers and hopefully their team can make some changes and win some games. Annie is leaving Denver tomorrow to go spend some time with him, he doesn't do well without his family with him. Life continues to move along, the weather is slowly cooling off and before we know it Christmas will be here. Yikes! I'm so tired of hearing about all the fighting in Washington, I don't see why the American people don't see what is happening to our country. I wonder what kind of country we will have when my grandchildren grow up. It's really scary, but maybe I should check in to getting some insurance through Obamacare, now that's an idea!