"What would the Savior Do?

I had an interesting experience yesterday. I had a doctors appointment in a medical building in west Mesa. I decided that while I was there I would go in and see if I could schedule my yearly mammogram screening. When I went in the girl said that if I could wait about a half hour she could get me in so I wouldn't have to make another trip from Gilbert. Because I don't drive anymore it causes some stress on Mindi because she has to take me to all my appointments, so I felt that if I could get this taken care of it would be worth it. Anyway, after my mammogram I walked out into the waiting room and there was a Mexican girl with a baby in a stroller trying to get out of the door. Tristyn was with me so we helped with the door and as we were walking out she asked me if I had change for a $20 bill. She needed to get on the bus and she needed $2.25 and they wouldn't make change for her. I knew I only had a few $20's in my wallet and then remembered my Mom had given Rich and I $60 in an envelope for Christmas, two $20's and 2 $10's. Anyway, I gave her my two new crisp $10 bills and she gave me her $20 and we left. When we got in the car I told Mindi that the girl with the baby in the stroller needed some small change to get on the bus. She handed me $2.25 and we drove over where she was asking another guy for change, I thought for the $10's I had given her. She said she got the change and we drove off. On the way home we stopped at a Hallmark store to see if they had any bargains for Christmas next year. I found some nice Nativity cards and went to pay for them at the counter. I handed the guy my $20 bill from my Mexican girl and to my surprise it was no good. She had given me a counterfeit bill. I was so embarrassed and afraid they were going to call the cops on me. I explained to the manager that I had just made change for a girl pushing a baby in a stroller trying to get on the bus. All she said was, "she got you." She then explained to me how you can tell whether it is a good bill or not. By then I was so mad I didn't care how to tell if a bill was good or not and I went out and got in the car. As I was getting in the car I was saying some bad words to Tristyn about the girl in the medical building, and how she had taken advantage of my kindness to her. I was really upset and I was trying to see how I could seek revenge for what she had done. After I had cooled down a little bit I became embarrassed about how I had acted. That I didn't have a kinder heart, that I would seek revenge over only $20. I thought about one of the prophets whose coat was stolen out of his car and he said, "if the person needed that coat enough to steal it, he was glad they took it." Here I was hoping this girl would be hit by the bus and hoping some bad karma on her and maybe even calling the police on her instead of having compassion for her. As I was sitting in the tub last night I thought about the day and how upset I was over this little bit of money and the words, "what would the Savior do?" kept coming into my mind. Hopefully, this new year I will be able to show a little more kindness and be a little bit more forgiving. I need to ask myself more often, "what would the Savior do?'" Maybe my life would get a little better and those around me would see that I do have a good heart.

Turning into the Grinch

I have spent the better part of two days putting up all my Christmas crap. As I was taking it all down I was wondering why I do it in the first place. I have a sister who doesn't even put a tree up. I'm thinking that's the way I'm heading next year. I absolutely love things about Christmas. I love the music, the lights, the kindness shown to everyone close to me, but I hate how busy of a time it is. There is always something to do, shopping, cooking, planning dinners, wrapping, and then cleaning up after all these activities. It seems like after Christmas I always go into a little depression. Not bad enough to medicate myself, but just enough to put me in the toilet for a little while. I would say it is more of a letdown. Now I need to worry about the new year. All the resolutions I have made for the last 35 years to lose weight, exercise more, be a better Mother, forgive more easily and work on my potty mouth. Here it is again and I'm still not doing very well changing the things about me that I hate. I don't know what 2010 will bring, after being blindsided by the death of Kamber in 2008, anything is possible. Hopefully we will get a little bit farther down the road of grief and the sting of her death will get a little bit less painful. The birth of a new grandchild is something to look forward to, and who knows maybe there will be a magic pill for weight loss coming this year. Maybe Obamacare will pass and I can get a hip replacement, ha ha, I even know that's not going to happen. Maybe we will win the Powerball, oh I know that won't happen either because "you can't win if you don't play." Anyway, I have rambled enough about the woes of Teri, I guess I will just go run some errands and then get home in time to take a nice afternoon nap. Now that sounds like a good idea to me. Maybe my attitude will be better when I wake up, but on the other hand maybe I will still be in the toilet.

Survived Another Christmas

All the grand kids right before we opened presents.

I survived another Christmas and am desperately in need of a good nights' sleep. We had a wonderful day with family and even the missionaries stopped by for dinner. The older I get the more I realize that it isn't about the presents, it's about being together as a family. After we opened gifts we ate dinner with our extended family, then we went to the Mesa Cemetery to decorate Kamber's grave. This is the second year we have gone and again I must say I am amazed at the people who visit there on Christmas Day. If you would have told me a few years ago that I would be spending part of Christmas in the cemetery I would have said you were crazy. Jenn brought some darling little trees and poinsettias and even a wreath to put on her headstone. Sometimes I wonder if the other children really understand what has happened and the finality of it all. We did get some good news from Ethan and Jenn, they are expecting a baby in the summer. It seems like every year on Christmas we get an announcement of a pregnancy. Okay, Mindi, Candi and Annie, who will step up to the plate next year? I'm so glad I'm old and don't have to ever be pregnant again. I didn't do so well when in my childbearing years, so I'm glad that part of my life is over. It's a good thing you do the hard stuff when you are "young and dumb" because I don't think I would have done it if I knew how challenging it was going to be. Next week we will be in 2010. I will turn 57 this year and it will be my parents 60th wedding anniversary. Where have all the years gone? Hopefully the economy will improve and our family will improve in the areas we need to this coming year. Maybe Ethan will even get a baby boy! He says if it's another girl "HE'S DONE." That's what he has said since Tayler, five kids ago. I hope you all had a great Christmas and are looking forward to the New Year. We love you all!

"The Most Wonderful Time"

I can't believe it is already Christmas, didn't we just have Thanksgiving? There is one thing I know for sure and that is as we get older time seems to speed up on us. I know now why my parents gave up on presents long ago and just give us a little money. This year wasn't so bad because we cut back because of the economy, but it is still stressful shopping for the eleven grandchildren. I am the practical Grandma in the family. I don't buy any toys for my little ones. I feel that is their parents and Santa Clause job to provide them with the fun things in life. I buy things to keep them warm and dry. Christmas isn't the same without all our family together. I don't know how families do it who are separated by miles and miles. Spencer and Annie will have their own Christmas tomorrow before he goes to practice, so we will be missing them. It is also the second year without our Angel Kamber. I don't know if life will ever be normal again where that is concerned we miss her so much. Rich and I were talking this morning about the recent tragic events that have happened here in Arizona. There was a lady shot while jogging this week in Phoenix and then there were three people killed in a car accident during a dust storm on the freeway. I have felt so bad for these families. That is one thing that happens when you go through a traumatic event in your life, you begin to relate to others who are going through similar trials. I can't believe how hard it would be to be planning a funeral around Christmas. I am also wondering what kind of person would shoot a defenseless fifty-seven year old "soon to be grandma?" Two of the people killed in the car crash were teenage siblings a seventeen year old girl and her fourteen year old brother. How terribly sad for their family to have lost two children in a horrendous wreck right before the holidays. Christmas is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year." We have had so many people who have brought delicious treats to us and are so overwhelmed with the generousity shown towards us. We also know that their are people we know who are suffering. All I can say is that I know our Heavenly Father loves us and is aware of our needs. We knew it would be hard when we left our home in Heaven to come to earth to be tested. Sometimes I wonder if I did really agree to all this, but I must have. We wish everyone a Merry Christmas and hope we will understand the true meaning of Christmas.

True Spirit of Christmas

I woke up early this morning wondering where to start. Everywhere I look there is an unfinished project or something that needs to be done. I was feeling overwhelmed so I decided I would take a few minutes and just write some of my feelings down.

Rich has some good friends in Scottsdale that he has worked for in their home. They are Bill and Doris and they are in their eighties and never had any children. They love Christmas and in the past we have been invited over for a delicious dinner and admired their beautiful home filled with all their decorations. Well, the last few years they have been giving some of these treasures to Rich when he comes by to do a little project for them. They are getting too old to do all the work it takes to put everything up and take it down. This year Bill gave us two boxes of the prettiest crystal ornaments and told Rich to put them on the two small flocked trees he gave us last year. So this year I decorated our big family tree, and Rich decorated the two little flocked trees with the crystal ornaments. At night when I plug them in they are so pretty. They just sparkle with the white lights bouncing off these darling shapes. They have hummingbirds, snowmen, bells, snowflakes, cowboy boots, and just about everything else you could imagine. I'm sure some of these ornaments were quite expensive, and some just very practical. Anyway, every time I walk by these trees I think of Kamber. I think of how beautiful she is and how pure she is. She never lived long enough to actually sin. I am filled with such gratitude for my testimony that she lives and that we will see her again. Because of the birth of Jesus Christ we can be born and then at some point we will all leave this earth and return to our "real home". I love the "Spirit of Christmas." It seems like everyone is a little bit nicer, a little more forgiving, a little more generous than any other time of the year. I hope we will all realize the true meaning of Christmas and do something nice for those around us this year.

Angels are wathcing over us

I had an interesting experience yesterday that still has me reeling. As the mother of a professional football player I worry about him all the time. It has gotten a little better since he got married. I think Annie has picked up where I left off. Anyway, yesterday Spencer had a game starting at 11:00 a.m. so I hurried and got in the shower so I could get ready for church while I watched the game. As I was in the shower I had this thought come to me that I thought was really strange at the time. It was "if Spencer were to get really hurt in this game, would you be willing to get on an airplane and go to Denver to be with him?" That totally caught me off guard and I just started praying that he wouldn't have an injury to test my faith. As the game began I watched Spencer run down the field on the first kick off and tackle the player just as his teammate hit him. I could tell instantly by the way he landed and how he rolled over that he was hurt. They said, "we have an injured Denver Bronco so we will take a break." My heart sank and I could tell I was moving into a "this can't be happening again" mode. Mindi's kids all came running down to make sure I knew that Spencer was hurt. We got ready and went on to church and taught our Primary class, all the time wondering if Spencer would be okay. Candi did text message us and said they x -rayed his neck and back and didn't see anything broken. That was good news. Later in the day Annie called and we had a nice visit with her, she said he was feeling better and she would have him call us when he got home. He called later in the evening and told us that his player hit him on the top of his head which made him twist weird and hurt his lower back, they would do a MRI this morning. I just got a call from him, he said the MRI was negative and that he could probably play this week if he can endure the pain, they gave him a big shot of anti inflammatories and told him to rest. I guess the head trainer looked at the film of the hit he took and told him he was a very lucky guy, he could have been really hurt maybe even a career ending injury. As we left for church I was murmuring about how "why can't he get a break?" Now I need to repent, Heavenly Father was watching over him and I feel so blessed he wasn't hurt worse than he was.

Tis the Season

This has been such a crazy busy week. It started on Sunday when they called Rich to be on the High Council. We went to the church for him to be set apart and it was nice to have my parents there with us. On Tuesday we had Enrichment Night for Relief Society. It was a nice dinner and program, the theme was "Believe." On Thursday night I helped the activities committee make 125 caramel popcorn balls for Santa to give out at our Christmas party today. Then last night we had our first High Council dinner and white elephant exchange. The dinner was delicious and we laughed and laughed at some of the gifts people brought. Then finally this morning we had our Ward Christmas Party. We had a nice breakfast with muffins, donuts, bagels, bacon, egg casserole, oranges, bananas and just about everything else you could imagine. I continue to be amazed at the talent we have in our ward. It is wonderful how everyone works so well together to make things nice and to make sure we know what this season is all about. After the party everyone pitched in and helped clean up, I'm sure the committee is so tired. They have been working on this activity for months. I wonder how people live without the gospel. At times I feel so overwhelmed with what is asked of us to be a member of this church, but the blessings we receive from serving far out way the time we spend in service. We struggle with our feelings of sadness with another Christmas without Kamber, again I wonder how families deal with the death of child without the knowledge that we will see her again. I know there are families that are going through hard times and we pray for them. We know by experience that life can change in the "blink of an eye", hopefully our testimonies will continue to grow as we love and serve those around us.

Grateful or Bitter

We had a good weekend. Besides trying to get my house decorated and our Christmas lights up, we also had Stake Conference. It is always nice to have a change of pace and have Conference. About two weeks ago we got a call to meet with the Stake Presidency. They have called Rich to be on the High Council. It will be busy, but hopefully not as busy as the Bishopric. I hope he will do a good job and learn to love the members of the Stake like he loves the members of the Gilbert 6th Ward. Anyway, as we were going to the adult meeting of conference last night Rich mentioned to me how sad he gets sometimes if he starts thinking about our Angel Kamber. I expressed to him how hard it is for me because not only am I grieving for Kamber, but also for the sadness it has brought on Ethan, Jenn and their little girls. As we sat in the meeting listening to the talks they were all things we needed to hear. They were the usual food storage, get out of debt, and live within your means lectures. We know we need to do better in those areas. Then Elder Perry Webb gave one of the best talks I have ever heard. I grabbed a paper and started writing some of the things he said down. He first talked about the MYTH we have in the church. That is if we do everything right, stay morally clean, go on a mission, marry in the Temple, stay active in the church, we won't have any trials or challenges in our life. Then he went on to say that "we learn obedience through suffering. That through our trials we develop character and their are things that we can only learn from suffering through our trials." He then said "we have two choices when we have adversity, we can either "be filled with gratitude and become more sympathetic to others, or become bitter." He then told us about how his sister had been asked to give a talk on Gratitude a week after she had buried her third child. She had given birth to six children and three of them had passed away. He didn't go in to the details of how these children died, but you could tell how much he thought of his sister and what a great example she was of having gratitude in her adversity. When his talk was over I looked around and almost everyone around me were wiping tears away. He had really touched on a subject that lots of people were relating to. It made me realize that we are not alone in our suffering. Their are those around us everyday who need our help. When you go through a devastating loss it changes who you are. I hope in our case it will change us for the better, that we can forget our own pain and help those around us.

Shopping... thanks to Spencer

Our crew leaving the store with all of our gear!

Some of my friends have asked me what it's like to have a son playing in the NFL. I really don't feel any different and at times it is even hard to believe. Because Spencer lives in Denver and plays his home games there, then travels all over the country to play, I haven't been able to watch him play in person yet. I did go to a pre-season game with the Cardinals last year in Glendale, but I just watch him on t.v. One of the perks for him is that he gets endorsement money from Reebok. He is really nice to share that money with us by letting us go shopping for free. Yesterday Mindi, Candi and B.J., Jenn and I went to Arizona Mills Mall to go shopping at the Reebok Outlet for FREE! We did it last year and it was so fun. His agent sets it up for us to get a certain amount of money to buy stuff and boy does it help. We mainly got shoes, socks, sports bras for Candi (thank heavens), and miscellaneous other shirts and hats. It took us over two hours but we sure had fun. B.J. helped a lot and watched the kids while we wandered around the store. They also went and saw Santa Clause and then we ate lunch. After a ride on the carousel we hit a couple other stores and came home. I know this year is tough for lots of families because of the economy we feel so blessed to have the opportunity to get some necessary items without having to go in debt. It is nice to have a son who is so generous with his family. Each one of our children try to serve when needed and give of their time and talents. We are truly blessed.

Sleep Deprived

I don't know what is wrong with me but if I don't fix it soon I'm going to be a raging idiot. I keep waking up at random times in the night, (last night it was 2:30 a.m.) and then I can't go back to sleep. It is truly driving me crazy. I was so tired from running errands and trying to put Christmas up that I knew I would sleep like a baby, but NO! I was still awake at around 6:00 a.m. this morning. I remember hearing the clock chime every hour from 3-6 and then I finally got back to sleep but was up again at 7:30. I might as well be taking care of a newborn baby because that is how sleep deprived I feel right now. I guess I'm worried about something, okay a bunch of things, but I should still be able to sleep. Last night I remember thinking about Kamber and how much I missed her. I want to do something in her "memory" but haven't quite figured out something I could do to honor her. It seems like I always get like this around the Holidays because I have so many projects I want to get done, but this is ridiculous. I also miss my little guy Spencer and his family. I haven't seen them since they left for Colorado last spring. They love it up there and now that he's playing I know he's really busy. He has had a good couple of games and the coaches are happy with his playing so I'm thankful for that. We are also constantly praying that he won't get injured again. It seems like there are so many players in the NFL lately that are getting concussions and that worries me too. I guess I just don't have enough "FAITH" to understand that I have no control over what happens. I can do my part but I know from experience that trials can come at any time. Maybe that's why I can't sleep, I'm just waiting for the phone to ring to give me the bad news. There again, no faith. Maybe I will just go in and take a little nap, maybe I will feel better in a couple of hours.