Ben Hur

Last night I turned the t.v. on and my all-time favorite movie was on, Ben-Hur. I remember the first time I saw it we went to the drive-in with my Abney-Heap cousins in Mesa. I remember laying on a blanket watching the chariot race and loving every minute. That was probably more than 45 years ago. As I watched it as an old grandman it took on a different meaning than it had as a young child. I didn't realize back then that it was such a long movie and how hadsome Charleton Heston was, but I do remember the spirit I felt. As I was watching it last night my eyes began to tear up as he was looking for his mother and sister. Then as he watched the trial of Jesus and him carrying the cross up the stairs. He wanted revenge on the Romans who had sent him to the galley of the ship to die. Then he saw Jesus and his heart was softened. Rich had to do Sharing Time today, (for maybe the last time) as the Bishopric. He had made a bridge out of wood the the words ATONEMENT on them. He does such a good job with the kids. I felt the spirit again as he talked about how the Savior has made it possible to return home to live as eternal families. I know Kamber is in good hands on the other side and hope as a family we will all strive to do better every day so we can be with her again.

Empathy

Rich and I went to a funeral for a young man in our ward. His name was Ben Harper and Rich was one of his advisers in the Priest Quorum a few years ago. I have to admit that funerals are not my favorite things to attend, but after I go I'm always glad. The spirit is so strong and it is a spiritual experience for me. Yesterday as I sat and listened to the words of the Bishop and Stake President, (who just happens to be my brother), I came away with a new sense of what I need to be doing to better my life. The Bishop said," the Lord doesn't expect perfection, he just wants our hearts." At times I get discouraged when I think of all the things I'm not doing, but hopefully he knows my heart and understands my shortcomings. Lennie talked about the "Plan of Happiness" and that sometimes it doesn't seem so happy. It brought me back to that awful day in July when our darling granddaughter Kamber passed away. It was by far the hardest trial I have had in my life, but at the same time the most spiritual. The closeness we felt as a family and the love we felt from our ward members, extended family and friends was overwhelming. We know how hard the next few months and even years are going to be for them, but we have hope that the days ahead will bring them peace and understanding. We have a little more understanding of how they feel because we have been there and are still grieving.

March Madness

I love the month of March. The weather is usually nice and my flowers are starting to look really good before they start dying off. I also like March because of the college basketball's tournament. I guess my love for basketball started when I used to play outside every day after school. It was usually Lennie and me against Dad and Ben. My Dad was also a high school referee so he would take us kids all over town when he reffed. A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my friend about Kamber and how hard it is to come to terms with her death. I think I'm doing really well, but there are times that the pain is unbearable. He was telling me about his theory that you are either in the stands, or you are on the court. When you are in the stands, you are watching the players, cheering, yelling and wondering about the strategy on the court. But, when you are on the court, and in the game, it's a whole new experience. I have been in the stands for a long time in my life, but since Kamber's passing I feel I've been forced to get on the court and in to the game. I guess this is why we aren't suppose to judge anyone, because if you aren't on the court and in the game you have NO idea what it's like. I'm looking forward to being in the stands in the future but for now I'm stuck on the court.

Grandma the water's warm!

Today we had the Larsen girls while Jenn was at the hospital with Ethan having surgery to have his gallbladder out. Because it's spring break that made seven kids. They really have fun with their cousins and get along really well. In the afternoon Tristyn came in and said that they went over into the pool and felt the water and it was really warm. I said, "there is no way in h#@* that water in that pool is warm." After arguing with them for about two hours and listening to them tell me how warm the water was I decided to call their bluff. I said, "everyone outside on the diving board and you are all jumping in." We headed out to the pool and before you know it they were in swimming. After they were in a little bit the water didn't seem so warm. Tristyn was chattering and Trent was out saying he needed a towel because he was cold. I finally told Tristyn she better go all the way under because she was the one who kept telling me how warm it was. Tayler was having a blast. She and Kylie stayed in the longest and Tayler swam and swam. We had a box of Otter Pops and ice cream bars and then came in. The weather has been so pretty and I hate the heat, but it is fun to see all the kids in the pool. I couldn't help but think how much Kamber loved the water and how sad I was that she wasn't there with us; or maybe she was.

Tristyn Playing Volleyball

Four generations of volleyball players.

Last Saturday we took my Dad to the Salvation Army to watch Tristyn play in a volleyball tournament. It is fun but tiring and frustrating. There are eight teams that play in a tournament for seeding purposes for the next tournament. Anyone who has ever watched 10-12 year-old girls play, know that a lot of the time is spent listening to them scream. It brought back all the memories of watching Mindi and Candi play and it was good to spend time with my Dad. He was a good sport but admitted to getting "awful tired" by the end. Plus, our backsides were sore from sitting on the old wood bleachers. It was interesting to see all these girls, with different shapes, sizes, colors and ability play. Some should change sports but others had some good potential. When we took Dad home, my Mom was excited to see us home safely and she came out to greet us. By then some of the kids needed to use the bathroom so went in to the house where I grew up in Scottdsdale. My Mom is a typical mother and always wants to feed us, so she offered us one of her bananas. I love bananas that are just barely a little bit yellow and she had just been to the store. I swear she buys at least 14 of them every week. Anyway, I was teasing her about how there is NO WAY she can eat that many bananas in a week, she must have a pet spider monkey in her house. Anyway, Trace heard me say that and he said, "I want to go in and see Grandma's Spider Monkey." It was pretty funny. so we sent Mom in to get her bowl of bananas and took a picture. She is so hilarious, always smiling, almost always happy.

Mom's spider monkey food.

Close Call

WOW did I have another close call. I went out this morning to do my chores, (feed animals, start up the pond, water my plants, etc.). I was in the aviary putting seeds in the dishes when I saw a black furry critter run past me with a white Lab on his trail. He got under the cage and Sonny had him in his mouth before I had time to react. I started yelling at the dogs and finally got them out of the area and in the pool fence. Then I had to go back and try to get my rabbit back in his cage. I found him hiding behind the feed but I couldn't catch him. As soon as I would touch him he would take off. He finally got out of the aviary and in the yard. That's two acres of wet grass; because we got irrigation yesterday, and I'm trying to catch him. Yea, right. Anyway, to make a long story short I ran in and got Mindi and she and Trace came out and they trapped him behind the fence and got him back where he belongs. I found the hole he got out of and had to fill that in. I started thinking about how many times in my life I have had close calls. How many times was my life spared because it wasn't my time. We never know when life is going to throw us a curveball. I think of my teenage years and all the stupid things I did. I'm so thankful that my Heavenly Father was watching over me. Since Kamber passed away it has made us all aware of the fact we never know what is around the corner. All I know today is that my little black rabbit is a lucky bunny.

It's a sad day!

It is a sad day today. Spencer and Annie took their boys back to Colorado this morning. We went over last night to say goodbye. I hate being a paradox because although I'm sad they left, I'm happy he is able to fulfill his dream of playing football in the NFL. I know he isn't quite sure what it is going to be like with the new coach and some new players, but I'm confident they will see the good player he is and use his talents to better the team. Life will go on and hopefully at some time in my life I will understand why my life has turned out the way it has. I guess if you do the same things over and over you will get the same results. Why would I think I could change things when doing the same things over and over again? I know nothing lasts forever so hopefully a change will come.

Thoughts and Prayers

Our family has been deeply saddened by the recent boat accident off the Florida coast involving two NFL players and two former college players. Spencer played football with Marquis Cooper at Highland and Annie ran track with him. We were talking about it this week and how sad we are for their families. It's almost like having a scab removed again. Although our situation is different, loss is loss. We have reflected on how we got to hold Kamber and dress her and say our final goodbyes. We got a little bit of closure. We can not imagine what these families are going through. Why did one survive while the others drifted away? Why was Kamber taken away from us? I was talking to a friend this week and said, "if I could just see where Kamber is I know I wouldn't want to bring her back." He said, "she is where she is suppose to be." I guess I need to have more faith that our Heavenly Father is in charge. This isn't really our home. We are just here for the experience of having a body and proving what choices we will make to return to him. Not all of us will have to lose a child or grandchild, but I am convinced we have to go through hard times to humble us and make us more like our Savior.

My Baby Is 25

Where did the time go? How is it that my youngest child is 25? Spencer was born on Sun. March 4, 1984. I went to Mesa Lutheran Hosp. at 4:00 a.m. and he was born at 5:04 a.m. I was lucky to have two darling girls and two handsome boys. I know everyone thinks their kids are the cutest, but Spencer was darling. The first thing I noticed about him when they brought him to me was the HUGE dimple in his chin. I remember how excited Grandma Greer was because her "daddy had the same chin." It has kind of moved to the side a little from being hit so many times in football, but I still think it's cute. Because Spencer is three years younger than Ethan we had three years alone before he went to school so I would take him everywhere with me. I remember one day taking him to Mervyns to shop. He was probably about 3 or 4 years-old. He was hiding under the clothes and turning the rounders and not being good. I picked him up and swatted his butt and scolded him, (okay, I probably cussed a little too). Anyway, when we got in the car I told him he was a bad boy to act like that in a store. The next time we ran errands and I told him we were going to Mervyns he said, "I don't want to go to Muvens, I don't do good at Muvens." He couldn't say his R's or L's so he said some really cute things. We never know when we get these little spirits from heaven what challenges we are going to have with them. I am thankful for all my experiences with my children. Some have not been fun. Some have been heartbreaking for us. But, we have been blessed through going through the trials. Everything I didn't want to have to go through raising four kids I got to experience, (well almost everything.) I wouldn't change any of it nor would I want any other children. The older I get the more I realize how lucky I am that my children survived having me as their mother. I'm thankful the Lord trusted me with these strong spirits.

Lunch With The Girls

Last year we decided that instead of giving birthday gifts we would just go out to lunch to celebrate. This is our second year going and it was fun to get out with just adults. We went to the Paradise Bakery and got sandwiches, soup and salads. Now that Linda has moved to Chandler I miss not seeing her and my nieces and nephews much. Julie lives three houses down, but with Len as the Stake President her life is way busy. It's weird to think that for thirty years I have been able to stay close and build relationships with my sister and sister-in-laws. I was a spoiled brat as a young girl, (some things never change). I didn't treat my sister very nice while we were growing up. She was way smart and studied hard only getting one "B" in her whole life. I loved my friends and boyfriends, sports and everyone else besides my family. We had early morning seminary and I hated getting up early. My sister Mell would turn the alarm on and then wake me up. I decided to turn the alarm off when I went to bed so she would be late to seminary. I hope I can be forgiven for that. When Kamber passed away Len and Julie went to the hospital to console Ethan and Jenn, I know that meant a lot to them. Then Linda and Julie organized all the pictures at the viewing and funeral. Julie also wrote the obituary, which was perfect. Everything they do is done with class and style. I appreciate everything they have done for me and our family. We are getting older and each of us have had our trials. I am so thankful for my sister and that my brothers were smart enough to pick some darling girls to marry.